Blake Spears

Choices Blake Spears

This is a compendium of two studies and a follow-up article. The most recent study, Choices, (2016) focuses on younger gay men's perspectives on monogamy, non-monogamy, and marriage. It is both a quantitative (576 respondents) and qualitative (222 respondents)study. It describes trends toward greater monogamy, the emergence of 'monogamish' relationships, and provides insights, profiles, and descriptions of both monogamous, as well as non-monogamous gay couples. Beyond Monogamy, (2010) is a study based on in-depth interviews with 86 long-term non-monogamous male couples. It offers the perspectives of long-term non-monogamous couples - when and how they opened up their relationships, how they handle jealousy and emotional involvement, what information they disclose to their partner, typical rules, and their suggestions for how to make non-monogamy work. Creating Healthy Open Relationships is a follow-up article to Beyond Monogamy. It offers suggestions on managing jealousy, addressing conflict, and building trust. The two studies confirm the viability of healthy, successful, long-term monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. And that both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships require a great deal of communication, care, and hard work. We think the information in these studies can be of great help to couples, regardless of what choices they make about monogamy and non-monogamy.