The Drunken Hamster Electric Boogaloo

Tony Marshall is widely regarded as the world's most handsome man. This is his first attempt at writing a book, having only recently gained a slight grasp of the English language. His only previously published work was a humorously altered sports card that he sent in to a well-known baseball card price guide magazine several years ago. Tony lives in West Point, Mississippi, with his wife and children. Despite his best efforts he was unable to name any of his kids Superfly or Toot. This book is guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that your bladder will explode and your hair will fall out. If that doesn't happen, there is obviously something wrong with you and not the book; therefore, you are violating the terms of the guarantee and are thusly not eligible for said guarantee.